The Fuck Stops Here

So during my whole pre-grad stress, along with shitty-job stress and exam stress and other random stress I probably created for myself (because one or two kinds of stress just LOVE company, so you create unneccesary stress just to shut up the Other Stresses which are already quietly shrieking inside your skull, night and day, for weeks on end...) on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being mellow-as-if-comatose and 10 being Dear-God-let-me-take-a-nunchuck-to-the-left-temple-right-now, I was operating at around 12, meaning my days were spent in a haze of perma-fear which caused me to have dizzy spells, break out, stop sleeping well, and my tongue became so sharp I started to cut the insides of my cheeks and my gums with my acidly bitchy remarks. Exam stress culminated in me eating what could possibly be the most fucked-up diet ever hear of today alone. Mostly because we had a huge Father's Day BBQ a few days ago and I'm helping to eat our way through the random leftovers and shit in our fridge which has replaced all normal food.
Em's Sustenance For the Day:
Breakfast consisted of a buttered hamburger bun with sauted onions and mushrooms on the side. And a glass of Coke. (It's the Breakfast of Champions, folks! Nothing says "I am ready to take an exam which will alter my future as my good marks in it alone will determine if I get into the only university I applied for," than burger-topping-leftovers, warmed over. THERE IS NO PLAN B HERE!)
Lunch was ice cream cake, potato salad, and pasta salad, and more coke...I mean Coke. In that order.
Dinner was eaten at someone else's house, therefore making it normal and sensible. I had great tasting ham, with carrots, broccolli and scalloped potatoes.
I get home, and I slide right back into the Fridge Contents of Madness: Dessert is 5 Bean Salad.
I've felt vaguely ill all day, but I dunno if that's what I've been eating or my relief that all my crap is done with.
But now grad is over, I have written all my final exams, and tomorrow I have what looks to be a promising interview at a new prospective job, meaning hopefully this weekend may be the last weekend I need to work, even then I may be able to quit before the week is out. I'm getting a haircut on Friday, will probably end up dying my hair, and for some reason I've been having visions of myself with a nose ring and having shed about 40 lbs., ("Ha!" Say You, After Reading What I Have Eaten Today) which is a very very uber-sexy me. This makes me happy beyond reason.

The result: Mentally, I feel as if God just handed me a fattie the size of Madagascar and said " S'cool, kiddo, I gotchyer back. Ain't nuthin' bad gon' 'appen when I'm here. You wanna go get some Irish nachos?"
And I say: "OH GOD PLEASE YES!" and then we go play arcade games and have random fun around the city in a colourful, sunny film montage of shots of us having fun with boardwalk games, eating all manner of chili dogs and ice cream novelties while "I'll Stop The World and Melt With You" by Modern English plays in the background as God and I buy some silly hats, He wins me a big purple stuffed dog and we head out across the lake on those foot-operated paddle boats.


Summation:
School's Out For The Summer.
School's Out For Ever.*



*Not for Jackie. Heh.


Nothing Is Gunned Down Because All Is Right With The World And Em's Gastrointestinal Fireworks Have Obviously Begun To Leach Dangerous Toxins, The Poisons Seeping Their Way Into Her Cerebellum...Quietly...Oh So Quietly Going Mad With Joy...