You Been Sokyrka'd

So I know I'm supposed to be working on my Lit project, but whatev I already have most of it plagari--I mean written down and waiting in my e-mail inbox to be printed off (Arial, size 12 font) and glued to my gigantic piece of cardboard in time for my oral presentation tomorrow.
In the meantime, under the pretence of doing said "homework" I am messing with my sister's computer while on a guest account, and having noted her newest CD acquisition lying on her desktop, of course I'm going to listen to it.
Class, let us review the standard of practices in my relationship with my sister, who is a few years older than myself.

Her Barbies + Me Playing With Them = Sister Getting Pissed.
Her Clothing + Me Taking The Good Sweaters = Sister Getting Pissed.
Her Books + Me Reading Them and Forgetting to Put Them Back or Insisting They Belonged to Me All Along = Sister Getting Very Pissed.
Now I am faced with this equation:
Her New CD + Me Listening To Same CD = ?
Answer, anyone?
You guessed it.
Luckily, my sister is out of town for the next few days, so as long as I put the CD back, I can freely listen to its tuneful offerings.

So...this is Theresa Sokyrka's new album, These Old Charms.
The jacket art is colourful and quirky, the song titles are a neato mix of new alternative and old jazz standards. The album's title itself is intriguing and tinged with an aura of nostalgia which brings to mind a cozily dim living room with shelves crammed with tiny dark glass and stone sculptures and other such bric-a-brac, and there's one of those stained-glass lamps that were popular in the 70's hanging from a thick, dusty brass chain from the ceiling.

Some of the newer songs are all right, mostly because I've never heard anyone sing them before.
But the old songs "re-done" by this down-home Saskatoon girlie just grated on my lil' ol' love of the classics.
She did them well...indeed, I voted for her (several times in fact) during the course of Canadian Idol. Well, except that my first loves were Billy and Jacob in seasons 1 and 2, respectively. But after Jacob got voted off by some insensitive voters (boo! hiss!) it was all up to Kalan and Theresa. Now I liked Theresa at this point, but then again, there was Kalan Porter...the first honest-to-goodness Pretty Boy I have ever seen in the flesh. I mean, sure you HEAR about them, and you even call some people by that name. But Kalan was actually beautiful, gorgeous, pretty...and a boy. He had ridiculously long eyelashes and pouty lips that should have no place on a man's face. Add to that his flawless complexion, his wildly curly hair, and his way of glancing at the ground as if he would scuff his toe and say "aw shucks..." at any moment...
Damn.
Why did I vote for Theresa? She lost anyways. Then again, she's pretty too. Then again, I'm not a lesbian.

In any case...
She screwed with the classics. Either too slow or too fast or with too much scat. Call me a puritaniacal with no imagination, but I just liked the songs the way they were. I don't know what exactly was wrong with them, but they just didn't fly with me.

Note on the Scat:
Is the fact that scat is a colloquial term for poop (or can be used as a verb for running away) lost on everyone but me?

I'm trying to listen to God Bless the Child and all I can think is that when she scats she sounds like my Sims when they're arguing about their kids.

Final Note: The CD is okay to look at, but for God's sake don't put it into your CD player unless you're into scat. (Some of it was okay, but only for about 5 seconds at a time. Too much scat. Too much.)