The Death-Wish Diet

In lieu of Jackie, we now have Nicki, who had become a mutual guest blogger in Jackie's absence. This convo began this morning on msn as Em announced the adoption of a new diet which her mother tried years ago with limited success. This diet involves copious amounts of soup. Em is attempting to slim down for Grad or she must face the frieghtening prospect of Scary Metal Panties. (No shit, I saw them at Sears. The corset is not lost, only forgotten; not dead, only sleeping.)

I give you: The Death-Wish Diet! Atkins, Eat Your Heart Out! (A number of really bad jokes and puns could be made with that one sentance, but we shall refrain.)


Em Says:
Hiya kidlet.
Nicki Says:
Heya hunny.
Em Says:
Mmm endorphins.
Nicki Says:
Lol, oh yeah.
Nicki Says:
Coffee Crisp
Em Says:
Nice.
Em Says:
I got this recipe for soup online, and I'm gonna do this 7 day diet thinger. Here’s hoping.
Nicki Says:
Yeah I may do that too.
Em Says:
Cool.
Em Says:
I'm gonna go buy the soup ingredients, make the soup, and start tomorrow.
Nicki Says:
Koolies.
Em Says:
So I can return to school all svelte and smug.
Nicki Says:
I'm gonna wait till after my birthday.
Nicki Says:
Then I'll do it.
Em Says:
Yeah, that makes sense. Dammit I just remembered we have a freezer full of three kinds of ice cream. Dammit, dammit, dammit! And nacho chips in the cupboard! DOUBLE DAMMIT!
Nicki Says:
Lololololololololol.
Em Says:
Oh hush you. This is what I get when my mother shops when she's hungry, a house full of ice cream, chips, butter tarts and stuff.
Nicki Says:
Nacho chips are ok in dieting.
Em Says:
Yeah but chips aren't on the list of crap I can eat.
Nicki Says:
Yummy yummy.
Nicki Says:
Yeah I know that.
Em Says:
*sniffle*
Nicki Says:
It sucks.
Em Says:
I'm gonna do this at home though when I can distract myself with the TV and computer and won't be mindlessly stuffing my face like I do sometimes when faced with a vending machine at school.
Nicki Says:
Lol, and I'm the one who has to be away from the house, like at school where I never eat.
Em Says:
Good point...it may actually be rougher watching my family eat chips and ice cream while I have...soup.
Em Says:
Kind of like self-induced PMS.
Nicki Says:
Hella.
Em Says:
Man I am going to be one crabby bitch.
Nicki Says:
I know I was.
Em Says:
Maybe it's a good thing I’m going to remove myself from polite society for seven days and then emerge like a butterfly from the cocoon.
Nicki Says:
Lol. Yeah, maybe safer.
Em Says:
Yeah. Anyone who knocks on my door or calls my house within the week following tomorrow will suffer pain unheard of since the Holocaust.
Nicki Says:
So go with a 20 foot pole, got it!
Nicki Says:
Then run like shit!
Em Says:
I'm on this energy-giving elixer soup shit, trust me, I will catch you.
Nicki Says:
Lol, even when I start 20 feet away, I’m fucked.
Em Says:
Exactly.
Let sleeping bitches lie.
Nicki Says:
Hella.
Em Says:
So I'll be like the guinea pig and test run the diet.
Nicki Says:
Haha! Yay test-subject!
Em Says:
Hush. :P I get the feeling the next week’s gonna be hellish. Goodbye bread, I’ll miss you!

{Convo ends when Nicki leaves to go get a turkey sandwich and Em goes to buy her ingredients for The Soup.}