The Phantom Menace (with pictures by Em!)

So in response to Cleolinda's thing with the Mary-Sues, I give you Em-Sue. The doll to the left here is me "before" about as normal as I can make it, given that translating oneself into cartoon format is harder than it sounds. Enjoy the crap story here. Anyhow I will post a link to this on my LJ because LJ picture thing is messed.
My name is Emeliea Rosea Mia Dolores Divyana Amethyst Xenia Jewelle Pogostick Marion Fern Hannah Sharone de l'Angelle. I am a poor orphan, working herself to death in a cruel Parisian factory during the long, harsh winter. (Luckily, the lack of food makes me skinny and the lack of heat gives my skin a flawless alabaster tone.) Ohh but look! A woman named Madame Giry saw me dancing and heard me singing sweetly on a street corner late at night, as I am so lonesome and poor and pitiful that dancing & singing is the only thing that makes me feel better when I'm not fainting with hunger and chills. Anyway, she offered me a job as the prima ballerina at the Opera Populaire, spying my natural grace and talent! She also hinted that I would have a good (read: positive) chance of getting the lead soprano role! Whoa so much is happening! I gotta go lie down or eat some sugar or something...
So ohmigawd I am being taught to sing by this AWESOMELY HAWT guy in a MASK OF MYSTERY! He insists I wear my slave-girl costume, even though I'm totally moving up in the world and will not be in the chorus-line much longer! In between lessons he seduces me with more music and hawt groping! I'm so tingly I can hardly think! Not that that's a problem for me. I never have to think anyway, tingly or not!
OMGWTFBBQ! I am the new STAR SOPRANO at the Opera Populaire! Everyone is in love with me because I am gorgeous and I sing like an angel! Hee! Off to more parties with handsome stagehands who kiss reallyreally well but whom I can never marry because they are poor and they will drink themselves to death for love of me--SO SAD!--oh well! Maybe the newly-widowed Vicomte de Chagny will be there! He and Erik will have to fight over me! *squee!* What fun! Toodles!
So then I totally married Erik, and this is my old-fashioned wedding dress, but it's BLACK because I haven't quite gotten Erik over his fear of non-monochromatic colours. But yay! He's learning to like pink and sparkles!
So on our honeymoon, Erik and the new Mrs. Phantom (that's me!) went to a fancy-dress ball, and I went as Super-Sexay Red Death because I knew Erik would love it and then we went on to have lots and lots of sex and babies!